| On Shadow Gods. (part 3) |
[28 Jul 2008|07:58pm] |
This will probably be put on extended hiatus, as I have to return the book today, and I've gotten to the point where any further reading would jeopardize my mental health.
( Quel dommage... )
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| On Shadow Gods. |
[14 Jul 2008|02:21pm] |
So I got a copy of The Shadow God by Aaron Rayburn. I will be posting various lines at a time for your amusement.
( And away we go! )
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| On wretched jobs. |
[28 Jan 2008|11:57am] |
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mood |
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 angry |
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For some perspective, today also happens to be my birthday. My plans for today?
Stay at work until some ridiculous hour, performing inherently flawed science that I haven't the slightest interest in, and doing it again for the next couple of days.
I have been working as a research assistant for the neurosciences department for the past couple of months. This is quite possibly one of the worst jobs that I have ever taken. I will readily admit that I needed this job when I was applying for grad schools, but now that those applications are all done, I not only want to quit, I need to quit. I honestly feel like my well being is at jeopardy if I stay at this job for much longer.
In terms of research goals, it sounds noble. I work essentially as a contract worker for a lab to a pharmaceutical company, where I test their compounds to see if they alleviate severe respiratory symptoms associated with Rett Syndrome, a neurological disease. Do these theraputic agents work? No.
Actually, no conclusions can be drawn. This is because we use mice as our simulated Rett patients. And to administer these drugs, we have to inject it. So to set things straight: I stab mice in the stomach (twice a day), place them in a recording chamber the equivalent of a human and a closet, and expect to see some sort of positive change in their breathing.
This would be all fine and dandy if it wasn't nearly so time consuming. But Since coming back from vacation the day after New Years, I have been forced to go into work every day (including weekends and MLK) to inject animals. This means coming into work at 8:00 in the morning, injecting for ~2 hours, and then coming back in later in the day at around 5:00 to repeat.
And here I am today, on a day where I record the mice breathing patterns. And wouldn't you know, they have no periods of quiet breathing that are valid. I wonder why.
Ugh. I'm just so messed up right now. I cannot wait for this weekend, since I get to interview at Johns Hopkins and get out of this wretched environment. And then the following weekend, I have an interview at USC. Regardless if I get into any school or not, I think I'm going to force myself to confront my boss and say, "This job makes me miserable and no longer has any potential gain for me. I can make ends meet by going back to waitering. Please find a replacement for me."
I'm being such a bitch, though. I know people have worse hours than me. I'm an exceptionally fragile person, though. More to come in a later entry. Maybe.
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[25 Mar 2007|03:42pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
Blech.
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| On long flight delays. |
[19 Jan 2007|02:19am] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
] |
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music |
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Kids...filthy...filthy...kids... |
] |
So I'm sitting in the San Francisco Airport faced with a 2 hour flight delay that causes me to miss my connection from Chicago to Cleveland. Then, after sending out all the information to all my friends, I realize that I still have another half hour or so until T-mobile starts charging me $.10 / minute. So why not update everyone with what's been going on with my life? It'll keep me from falling asleep in the airport, which will hopefully let me fall asleep on the plane.
Through pseudo-nepotism, I was flown out to San Francisco for a position within Genentech, one of the top Biotech companies. I actually had dinner with one of the CEOs (the one that would be in charge of my division), which by all standards of corrupt job practices would make me a shoe in. However, I seriously have my doubts about that dinner.
First, I expected it to be mostly a 1-on-1 with him and me. Then, he included his wife, which wasn't at all unexpected.
Then, my Uncle Max and his wife were also involved with the dinner. He was my main nepotism link, and he's treated me rather rudely via e-mail throughout this whole process, so that alone didn't particularly make me happy. That, and the idea of four Chinese people and myself at a dinner table almost never ends in my favor. It becomes more of a chance for them to talk amongst themselves, while I quietly eat dinner (see every outing to Flushing that involves a second family).
Finally, it (d)evolved into a gathering of the CEO's college mates from 20 or 30 years back. All Chinese, at a Chinese restaurant, where I only remotely knew one person. Food was good, conversation was beyond awkward. The only thing that I got good at was constantly pouring tea for people nearby.
However, I guess the occasion wasn't all for naught. I did get a chance to speak with him on te car ride there, and I think he has a genuine interest in me. I'm probably becoming a worse person for thinking this, but if most of us are all qualified in the same sense, than what's really wrong with using that sort-of family link? No different than affirmative action or whatever: you'll prove your worth once you're employed and show the company that it wasn't JUST not a mistake, but the right choice to hire you.
Anyway, that was that night, and the interviews followed the next morning. With jet lag working in my favor, I woke up around 6:00 and prepped for everything. I got to meet some of the other candidates for the program and I got along with them pretty well. They're a little too cool for me, but I think we all hit it off pretty well. One of the guys (Alex) said during some downtime that one of the other guys (Walker) reminded him dead on of Bill Nye, and I can't stop giggling about it.
In terms of interviews, I think I've got the hang about talking about myself. I love explaining what makes me tick and what I love about school and all those things. I'm hoping that I set myself apart from everyone, but I'm sure that if they made it this far, then they all have their interesting points too. Honestly, I feel like the key to a good interview is just pretending like your auditioning for the Real World. You want to come off strong, but likeable.
On the plus side, I don't sweat anymore when I talk to other people. I used to be a nervous wreck when I had to interview for anything, but I guess I got over that problem. Maybe it's just a coming of age thing by turning 21 (soon-to-be-22).
After the last interview of the day (there were 4), I took a fortune cookie. Normally, I don't care much for them, but since they were being passed around, I checked to see if the overworked fortune writer had anything to say about my fate. It totally did, and it totally made my day. "Life is full of choices. Today yours are good." That's about as auspicious as it gets.
Then came a tour of the facility, shuttle back to the hotel, dinner, TV binging, and planning for the next day. I signed up for a relocation tour, since I'm not familiar with the SF area at all. It was more checking to see what apartments were like (conclusion: expensive) and how to get around. We got done earlier (around noontime) which left me TONS of down time between the end of the tour and my flight.
I'm in fuckin' San Francisco! Of course I have to do some sight seeing.
So I got some of the touristyness out of my system. One of the really cool places that I visited was the GLBT museum. I guess calling it a Museum is a little grand, since it's pretty well hidden on the 3rd floor of an office building...and they locked the gallery door. It turns out that they were taking down the main exhibit that they've had for awhile (regarding the Gay Games), but there was a photo exhibit showing various aspects of SF GLBT life.
Hellllllllll yeah!
I also went down to the Fisherman's Wharf and got to experience some of the crazy. I rode the cable car, which is fun though irritating because I didn't realize how loud those things were. One day, I would love to take one of the cable cars after hours and just let it run down a hill without brakes. Friction will make it stop accelerating at some point, right?
Other crazy to take note of were people. There was a guy who talked like a pirate, who turns out was just a crazy hobo. There was also a combination hillbilly wearing a beanie playing banjo and a guy who dared people to tie him to a lamppost with chains, and he'd escape later while also wearing a straitjacket.
I also visited Ghiradelli Sqaure and got lots of chocolate, and I had a sundae that made me giddy. Their hot fudge was sooooo decadent and thick and omg.
For dinner I went to a "Singapore" cuisine restaurant, and got more than I bargained for. Their fries were so good, mostly because of how much garlic they put on there. I also got some flat bread stuffed with meat and a coconut margarita, so I was VERY happy when I kinda stumbled out of the restaurant. (That shit was strong).
Then, I just chilled in Borders for a couple of hours until I felt like it was a good time to catch a train back to the airport, thinking I'd only have to wait for an hour or two.
As opposed to four in SF.
I'll also have to wait four in Chicago.
And another 6 hours on the plane.
Airports are totally lame. :|
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| On infuriation. |
[31 Jul 2006|01:20am] |
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Tales of Legendia is an infuriating game. Like...really infuriating. It makes me want to throw shoes at the tv.
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| On being independent. |
[30 Jul 2006|11:10am] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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FFX - Tidus and Yuna's Theme |
] |
I had such a good time last week with my parents out of the house. I got to make my own food (for cheap, too!), lounge around and it was just such a relaxing time. It was so bad that I actually felt my heart sank when I saw them at the airport because I knew I would have to give up the feeling. But I'll gegt it back when I go back to Cleveland this week. Woo!
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[14 Jul 2006|10:02am] |
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mood |
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 bored |
] |
(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)
| ✓ I miss somebody right now. (We're cute like you wouldn't fuckin' believe.) |
✓ I don't watch much TV these days. (I just spent nearly 6 hours yesterday watching VH1 about a decade in which I wasn't conceived. Heck, I wasn't even on their agenda!) |
× I own lots of books. (I only have textbooks. I think people keep their textbooks just so they seem smarter than they actually are. I'm very guilty of this.) |
| × I wear glasses or contact lenses. (No, but man, I really did wish I wear glasses. I've always loved them. I have a theory that my drive to play video games WAS to ruin my eyes so that I could get them. Sadly, this was not the case, and I ended up with better hand-eye coordination as a result. :[ Man, I got gypped.) |
✓ I love to play video games. (See previous.) |
✓ I've tried marijuana. (Not much of a good story there.) |
✓ I've watched porn movies. (Well, just the one movie. Courtesy of Rob, I downloaded a movie called The Hole, a gay porn parody of The Ring. In 7 days...you will turn gay!
Side note, the male lead in that is really hot.) |
× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. (Thank goodness no. Shoot me if that ever happens.) |
✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy. (I don't often practice what I preach though.) |
| ✓ I curse sometimes. (I used to curse a lot more, but since I've been hanging around girls a lot more, it's went down. However, back when I hung out with my Asian Homeboys (all 2 of them), I had quite the vulgar vocab.) |
× I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (I'm still gay, happy, and not single. :)) |
× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. (Bitch, please.) |
( it goes on... )
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| On weird dreams. |
[12 Jul 2006|06:27pm] |
(18:17:01) Jon: I can't even put two and two together, but I thought I was going to Korea and for some reason I think I got slipped a roofie or something and thought I woke up in Korea, but it turned out to be a Korea-Town in New Jersey.
(18:17:52) Dave A.: whoa
(18:17:57) Jon: Man. It got worse.
(18:19:34) Jon: Some guy, seeing that I was disoriented, didn't abduct me but I guess...enticed me? He was a womanizer and tried to indoctrinate me on his philosophy, and then this crazy scene where I kept seeing attractive women super imposed on each other. It ultimately ended up with him harassing a waitress in a Korean restaurant (she was wearing an explosive pattern on her dress) and I fell back on my chair shouting loudly in broken Chinese that I had already eaten.
(18:19:41) Jon: And then I went to the arcade to play Guitar Hero.
(18:19:52) Jon: That's probably the point where I realized that I wasn't in Korea.
(18:20:19) Dave A.: I really dont know how to respond to that
(18:20:31) Jon: Yeah. I didn't either.
(18:20:45) Jon: I do remember hearing that the arcade I was in was putting the old one where I worked out of business.
(18:20:48) Jon: And it was a sweet arcade.
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| On just wanting to be left alone. |
[28 Jun 2006|07:18am] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
] |
No, this isn't an emo post on how the world should stay away from me because I'm a bad person or whatever. It's a spoiled brat post complaining about my parents, more specifically, my dad. I do not appreciate the fact that every morning, he turns off my fan and opens my window. Every. Friggin. Morning. He knows I don't wake up usually until 10:00, when the sun has been given ample time to heat my room and the humidity starts weighing down on me like no tomorrow. Today, I caught him at sometime around 5:30 in the morning doing so. I tried to do the whole sudden sleep-jerk-spasm thing to get him away, but he would not be deterred.
Y'know, if you want me to save power, that's fine. Let me know and I'll do it.
BUT STOP COMING INTO MY ROOM BEFORE I WAKE UP WITHOUT LETTING ME KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. IT'S NOT LIKE I'M STILL TEN YEARS OLD LIKE YOU THINK I'VE BEEN FOR THE PAST 11 YEARS.
Yeah. That's about it. :|
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| Eyes on the prize. |
[23 Jun 2006|10:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 excited |
] |
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music |
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God Knows - Hirano Aya |
] |
So I currently have two ideas for Drag Ball this year. Of the two options, which do you think is more likely to win (or at least to entertain)? Both involve getting one of those crazy dresses that you expect to see in Jane Austen novels or at 1890 English Tea Parties.
1) I come out all prim and proper, and then when the Janet Jackson music starts playing (most likely, it will be If), I start stripping out of the dress and go into the crazy leather bondage outfit that she has. Maybe its not really leather bondage, but its leathery and hawt.
2) I stick with the dress and just sultry with it, but with class. Like at the MTV Movie Awards when Madonna performed Vogue. I could even get a fan and parade around like that.
Since I don't have a paid LJ, I can't actually post a poll, so feel free to leave comments.
Eyes on the prize, baby. Eyes on the prize.
Side note: I just realized that there is possibility 3. I could go the Japanese school girl route and rock out to some J-pop. Probably something by Hirano Aya since I'm obsessing with it right now. If you don't know who that is, look her up. Ask me for some of her mp3s. (all courtesy of Haruhi)
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[30 May 2006|10:57am] |
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I'n in a lab! :D
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| On things coming together. |
[25 May 2006|02:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 satisfied |
] |
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music |
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Family Guy on the telly. |
] |
So things have been coming together nicely. It feels like I'm burgeoning on the scientific community. At least, I think I used the term burgeoning properly. I went to Cold Spring Harbor today and found a research position working in a lab that I'm actually interested in! Even better, I'll get paid to do so! I'm sure I probably seem like some retarded high schooler right now, but after going through 2 years of trying to bail out of med school, this seems like a good step forward.
In other news, I just feel very content right now. Even if it's 3 in the morning, I feel kind of awake. This has become a pretty bad habit of mine, to wake up sometime post-noon and go to sleep around 4:00. But when video games call... :) All I got are the old video games, but doesn't matter. They're still fun to play. I'm also typing on the laptop while waiting for music to download. I really like the sound that the laptop makes when you type. Kind of muted, soft, and just lots of tiny clicks that make me happy.
So sorry for the nonsense entry. It's just something to do while I waste time.
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| On landmark occasions. |
[05 Jan 2006|01:08am] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
] |
Let the record show that on January 4th, 2006, at approximately 6:00PM (I didn't have my cell phone), Mr. Jonathan Matthew Chang has finally alleviated one of his heaviest burdens from his shoulders, resulting in a feeling of near flight. The reason?
He has finally come out to his mother.
Newsflash bullshit jargon aside, I came out to her at dinner tonight. She didn't really have much to say (no angry outburst or shedding of tears), which is a good sign. She just asked me if I was sure, and that she only wants the best for me. When I said that I had a boyfriend as well, she didn't react any differently than if I had said I had a girlfriend.
So now, I only have one more hurdle to leap over, and I'm not sure when that'll get crossed. Dad's very old fashioned, so I really doubt that he'll take it well at all, but we'll have to see where fate will take that.
So how's that for a update? :]
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| On the effects of bleach. |
[01 Nov 2005|11:34am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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RHPS - Science Fiction / Double Feature |
] |
This past weekend was quite possibly one of the most fantastic ones I've had in a long time. Not only was I up and about and active (relatively so), but I just kept feeling good wave after good wave of good feelings. To recap:
Friday evening: initiation. We now have 7 new brothers with us. Even though I'm their Marshal, I'm refraining from calling them my babies because that'd be just a little on the odd side (but they are). I'm pretty sure they all participated in the Perkinsing of the Tremendous Twelves, and each person seemed to do polish it off rather nicely. ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) mooglemaniac also put one away, thus putting Jim to shame even more so.
----- (Insert two day break here) -----
Euh. Yeah. So...now I'm just wasting time because I can't find Anne to head out to lunch with and it doesn't take me an hour and 10 minutes to eat a bagel. So...to recap what happened over the weekend.
Saturday: Haunted house. Very exciting because that's also the day that I first bleached my hair. I'm a brand new shining blonde. I attempted to dress up as Annie Lennox, but it didn't turn out as good as I hoped it would. However, it did make for a creepy costume. Plus, I apparently garnered the second most scares in the house by hiding in the freezer and popping out every now and then.
Sunday was recuperation day.
Monday was inexplicable euphoria day. I also forgot what it felt like to sit in a chair for about 5 minutes, and seriously pondered it while sitting in a chair and thinking to myself, "Wait a minute. This doesn't feel right..."
And finally, some other stuff happened and now I'm getting cranky so I'm going to go grab some lunch.
I wish I weren't so scatter brained.
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| On how things like to balance. |
[26 Oct 2005|01:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Janet Jackson - Truth |
] |
I really wish that one day, I'd be able to find happiness within all sections of my life. Just recently, I got back my midterm grades and am currently doing much better than I had originally anticipated. This puts me into a temporary state of "Hey! I'm friggin awesome!" I go around the house, not necessarily strutting my stuff, but just feeling good. Like nutragrain good.
And then I get a couple of e-mails and things just keep crumbling down. Nothing's really going the way I planned it as Marshal for thetachi. I know some things can't be helped, but I honestly feel pretty slighted. I don't feel like the new members are really listening to me (but to new members who read this, it's not your fault in the slightest). I just have this really bad thing of having some relatively good plans in the beginning, but if they involve multiple parties, I always leave some people out of the loop.
I can't keep straight whom I've told what, so I forget to mention things and then it just starts coming down. I will learn next semester that too many credit hours + high fraternity position -> stress. Then again, I'll probably just do it all over again because I'm a major glutton for punishment.
Thanks to all those who put up with me.
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